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Oh, what a thief am I.  But not a completely criminal one, although I get pleasure out of things like this.  So if you want to see the real version of this copied page, with the unsupported text characters or whatever, go here: http://www.yamara.com/junk/xl970512.html
These are the brilliant minds who compiled it.  You can also find this on my links page.

Little did we know HOW important the words that followed would become.   Read history.   Contribute!

Blag knows which side of the axe he's on.

How to say

"Oh my god!
There's an axe in my head,"

in various languages--

102 TRANSLATIONS NOW AVAILABLE

The Web's #1 Axe In My Head Page (copied and pasted for your reading convenience.  To go to the real one, click the link above, or go to my links page)

English, Modern: Oh my god! There's an axe in my head.

  • Afrikaans: O God! Daar's 'n byl in my kop!
  • Alsatian: Lever Gott! Es esch a Axe en miner Kopf!
  • Ape1: Kree-gur! arad zor wo b'yat
  • Arabic2: Ya Allah! Be fass bi rassi!
  • Aragonese, High3: Ai ridis! Tiengo una estral en o tozuelo.
  • Assyrian: iliya pashum ina reshimi bashu

  • Babylonian: iliya pashu ina reshiya bashu
  • Bahasan4: O: mie Adonae, estil un acso en mie capito ho!
  • Baselang5: "Won suripiria nemia voci 'wonden divin'. Un chafergarbar i conboro wonden siras posi."
  • Basque6: Jaungoikoa! Badut aizkor bat buruan!
  • Belarusian7: Bozha moj, ja maju siakeru w halavie
  • Bengali: Oh Allah! Amar mathar upor bash poreche.
  • Bosnian: Boze moj! sjekira mi je u glavi.
  • Breton8: Ma Doue! Bez' ez eus ur vouc'hal e va fenn.
  • Bulgarian9: Bozhe moi, niakoi mi e zabil bradva v glavata!

  • Cantonese10:
    Oh my God! there's an axe in my Cantonese head.
  • Catalan11: Du meu! Tinc una destral al cap.
  • Celtic7, 12, 30: Mo Dhia! Ta' tua sa mo cheann.
  • Cree (Dialect N)13: Aah n'kiseemantoom, Ciikahikan asteew nistikwaanihk.
  • Czech2: Pane boze! Mam sekeru v hlave!

  • Danish: Oh min gud! Der er en oekse i mit hoved.
  • Dutch: O, mijn God! Er zit een bijl in mijn hoofd.

  • Egyptian, Ancient (Middle Kingdom)54: in Amun! iw minb m tp-i!
  • Elet Anta14: Ha inyano! Oan kascac inye cufanvay!
  • Emoticon15: k:-O
  • English, Old16: Wa min God! Se x on min heafod is!
  • Esperanto: Mia Dio! Hakilo estas en mia kapo!
  • Estonian12: Oh mu Jumal, mul on kirves peas

  • Faroese17: Gud! Ta er ein ks hvdinum hj mr!
  • Farsi12: Oh! Khodayeh Man! Yek Tabar tooyeh saram rafteh!
  • Finnish: Voi Luoja! Paassani on kirves!
  • French18: Mon dieu! Il y a une hache dans ma tte.

  • German19: O mein Gott! Es gibt ein axt im meine kopf.
  • German (Carinthian dialect)20:
                              Um Goddes wuell, do is a hackale im meim schaedahle.
  • German (Styrian dialect)20:
                              Jessas, i hab a hockn im schaedel.
  • German (Upper Austrian dialect)21:
                              Hmmi, Orsch und Zwirn! Do steckt a Hocka in meina Birn.
  • German (Vorarlbergerisch; West Austrian dialect)22:
                              Hargolss, do ischt an agscht i minoem griand!
  • Goa'uld23: Yo me Weiafei! Te monba im tap-ei.
  • Greek, Ancient24: O Thee! Echo ten labrida en te mou kephale!
  • Greek, Modern24: The'Mou! Eho ena tsekouri sto kefali mou!
  • Gujarati2: Aare Bhaghwan! Mara matha ma ek kuladi chhe.
  • Gullah25: Me Gawd! Dey en' ax een me haid!

  • Hausan26: Kai! Ina da bambaro ciken kaina!
  • Hebrew27: Oh Ellohim, yesh li garzen ba-rosh sheh-li!
  • Hindi: Hay Bhagwaan! Mere sar mein kulhaadi hain.
  • Hungarian: Jaj Istenem, de fejsze van a fejemben!

  • Icelandic: Gud minn godur! Thad er o:xi i ho:fdinu a mer.
  • Ilythiiri (Drow)28: Ussta Quarval-sharess! Gaer zhah velve wun ussta karliik!
  • Indonesian2: Ya Allah, dikepalaku ada kapak.
  • Inuktitut (Greenlandic)29: h gootinga! Niaquniipuq ulimaat.
  • Irish, Modern30: mo Dhia! T tua i mo cheann!
  • Irish, Old31: A mo d! Tthum tag im chenn-sa.
  • Italian: Dio mio! C'e' un' ascia nella mia testa!
  • Italian (Trieste dialect)32: Co dio! xe na mannera nella mia testa

  • Japanese: ahh, kamisama! watashi no atama ni ono ga arimasu.

  • Klingon33: toH, HIvqa' Qun'a'wIj! nachwIjDaq 'obmaQ tu'lu'!
  • Korean11: aigo, OtchOna! nae daegarie tokkiga pakhyO inne!
  • Kyrgyz34: Oh Kuday! Bashimda balta bar!

  • Latin: Deus Meus! Securis in capite meo est.
  • Latvian: Ak Dievs! Man ir cirvis galva!
  • Lithuanian12: Dieve mano, turiu kirvi galvoje!

  • Malayalam: Entey Deiwame, entey thalayil oru kodali undei.
  • Maltese35:     Alla tieghi, ghandi mannara f'rasi
                          Alla tieghi, hemm mannara gewwa rasi
  • Mandarin12: Wode tian a! You yi ba futou cha zai wode naodai li!
  • Maori: Ave Te Ariki! He toki ki roto taku mahuna!
  • Marathi: Aray Devaa! Majhyaa dokyaat kurhaad aahay.

  • Norse, Ancient36: Haurheghaud, ijh hehe einght aghsethe hjij haafhohuhede!
  • Norwegian (Bokml dialect; "Book Tongue")37:
                              Herre Gud, jeg har ftt en ks i hodet.
                              Herregud! Jeg har en ks i hodet.
  • Norwegian, New (Nynorsk dialect)37:
                              Herregud! Eg har ein ks i hovudet.
                              Herre Gud, eg har ftt ei ks i hovudet mitt.

  • Polish: O Moj Boze! Mam siekiere w glowie!
  • Portuguese: Meu Deus! Tenho um machado na cabeca!

  • Quenya38:   A Ilvatarinya! En n pelecco crinyesse.
                          O Erunya! En n i pelecco mi nya cr.

  • Romanian39: Dumnezeule! Este un topor in capul meu!
  • Russian33, 40, 54: Gospodi! Topor u moye golovye!
                            Bozhe moy, u meenya tapor v golove!

     
  • Smi41: Vuoi Ipmilahcci! Mus han leat aksu oaivvis
  • Sanskrit42: He mama deva! Asti mama murdhni parasuh!
  • Serbo-Croatian12: Boje moj! sjekira mi je u glavi.
  • Scots Gaelic7, 12, 30: Och, mo Dhia, 's e tuagh a tha sa' mo cheann.
  • Sinhala43: Ane Deviyane! Mage oluwe porawak thiyanawa
  • Slovak2: Pane boze! Mam sekeru v hlave!
  • Slovenian: Moj Bog! Sekiro imam v glavi.
  • Spanish44: Dios mio! Hay un hacha en mi cabeza!
  • Srana (Surinamese)45: Tj mi gado! Mi ab' wang aksi na ini mi d!
  • Swahili: Siyo! (Huko) Shoka yangu kichwanil!
  • Swedish46: Oh, Herregud! Jag har en yxa i huvudet!

  • Tagalog: Ay Dios ko! May palakol sa ulo ko!
  • Tamil2: Ada kadavule! En thalaiyil oru kodali irrukku!
  • Telegu12: Ore devudo! Naa thala lo goddali undhi
  • Turkish47: Aman Tanrim; Kafama saplanmis bir balta var.

  • Ukranian7: Bozhe mij, ja maju sokyru v holovi
  • Urdu48: Au Mere Allah Mere Sur Me Kulahri Hai

  • Vietnamese (North Dialect)2: Oi gioi oi! Cai bu'a no bo vao dau toi!
  • Vietnamese (Central Dialect)2: Oi troi phat oi! Cai rua chem vo dau tui!
  • Vietnamese (South Dialect)2: Chu'a toi oi! Cai rua chat be dau tao!
  • Visigothic: Meina guth, Ikgastaldan aqizi-wunds meina haubida
  • Volapk49: O God obik! Binon lecd in kap obik.

  • Wallon (Belgian dialectical French phonetic)50: Nom d dju, y a n hache din m' tit
  • Welsh8: A Dduw! Mae bywell yn fy mhen i!

  • Yiddish51: gotenyu! s'iz do a hak in kop!

     
  • Zau Ta-folin (Sauron's Black Speech of Mordor)52:
                              Afar Lugbrz! at sapat kok-ishi.
                              Afar vadokanuk, At sapat kok-ishi!
  • Zulu53: Awu nkosi yami kunembhazo ekh

 
SOME HISTORY.

When we first received the email from Holly Black in 1997, we were only able to trace the forwards back to one Elizabeth Lipp then in February of 2001, Nancy Cerelli emailed to tell us of a young prophet posting on Usenet:

It's been so long since the whole thing that I've forgotten his last name. He was a physics student at the University of Waterloo in Ontario Canada. His first name is Yohan. Really brilliant, quirky guy! I remember him posting it to Alt.Gothic back somewhere around 1993. I was also studying physics but at the nearby University of Guelph. There were only about 18 or 20 translations on his original list.

And now at last it comes. Hear now the words of YOHAUN, aka Johann Junginger:

Just discovered your site today. I must say its one of the better "Axe in my head" sites I've ever come across.

As Nancy Cerelli has pointed out, I'm responsible for starting this "Axe in my head" list (although it clearly has a life of its own now). I originally posted it to alt.gothic[...] 1993 sounds about right[...]

The original phrase is from the Iron Warrior, the Engineering student newspaper [University of Waterloo]. I believe this would have been in Fall 1993. One edition featured lots of photos of faculty and administration members with crudely drawn axes in their heads. The caption "oh my god, there's an axe in my head" would appear near these photos. This edition of the Iron Warrior may have been the one featuring the Chainsaw Ralph and Skillsaw Sue cartoons but I could be wrong[...]

One day my friend Kevin McLellan and I were in the Student Centre pretending to study, when Kevin turned towards me with a maniacal gleam in his eyes and asked "how do you say 'oh my god there's an axe in my head' in French?". The germ had been planted...

I forgot about this for awhile until I discovered Usenet (and alt.gothic - a wonderful place to procrastinate from one's studies). It occurred to me that the internet was a wonderful place to poll people for useless information - so I posted the original list, containing English, French and my clumsy attempt at Latin. I was flooded with replies and began to have great fun maintaining this. I believe I still have a postcard containing a translation in Egyptian hieroglyphs; if you ask nicely I'll try to find it and scan it for you :). I only ever posted the list to alt.gothic, but I guess other people began to disseminate it. I'm stunned every time I do a search for the phrase "axe in my head" on a web search engine. I am really amazed at the momentum this thing has gathered...

Keep up the good work - you are doing a better job of maintaining this than I ever could have done...

Sincerely,

Johann (Yohaun) Junginger [2001 Nov 25]

Words cannot express our pride and thanks for being recognized as a leading source of axe-to-head communication by the man who started it all. Yohaun has since been kind enough to provide the postcard mentioned above see it and links to Google's archive of his Usenet posts below. Curious parties can address him at jjunginger@hotmail.com.

While the background chronicle of "Oh my God! there's an axe in my head," now stands in a kind of completion, there is still much to be done.
Click here to find out how to contribute to this page, and make your mark on history!

An early hint of Yohaun's axes on Usenet: 1994 Jul 20
An early posting of Yohaun's list on Usenet [12 entries]: 1994 Jul 24
First findable correction by a third party [Latin]: 1994 Sep 05

 
TAKE PART!

We're proud of having the most translations of this phrase online!
If you know how to cry out "Oh my god! There's an axe in my head," in any other language, please contact us at:
yamara@earthlink.net
. OUR MOST SINCERE THANKS TO ALL OUR CONTRIBUTORS.

We're still tracking down the translations "Oh my god! There's an axe in my head," in Sindarin, Khazad, and any and all other real world and developed fantastic languages. Please consider postponing any time or dimensional travel to the eras and places where these languages are prevalent until we at Aetherco can provide this potenially life-saving information. Our lawyers recommend us to warn the following, however: "Aetherco makes no claim for the accuracy of any submitted translations. Use these translations at your own risk. Aetherco assumes all editorial discretion over submissions" but we won't use your email or web address unless you say; and submitters can always request anonymity.

Another important use for this list has surfaced in Adept Games' HAND AXE the Roleplaying Game. Kudos to Adept for perceiving the danger, wonder, and importance of the often-overlooked RPG breadth of the handaxe. [Updated 2000 May 09]
 


NOTES.

1 The official Ape language of Tarzan's friends, as devised by Edgar Rice Burroughs. Note that this literally retranslates as "Scream! Spear in this head." But it is not certain if there is a word for "god" or "axe" in Ape.

2 Found at ckelch.promptu.com which also has accredation for many of these translations. [2000 May 10]

3 This is a contribution in the Aragonese language, spoken in northern Aragon (Spain). It's a minor Romance language, different from the Aragonese dialect of Spanish spoken in the south...
My most sincere congratulations for the great page (and idea)! Lizer Tena [2001 Nov 25]
 
Thanks, Lizer, though the idea certainly predates our efforts.

4 Leo J. Moser's invented language. [1997]

5 Courtesy Jeff Henning, who elaborates further on his translation:

Re-lex: "I surprisingly presently linguistically-express 'my god'. A bladed+augmentative+bar opposite+outside me+pronominal-article head presently is-position."

Re-translation: "I say, 'My god' in surprise. An axe is inside my head."

Baselang does not currently have any way to express exclamations, which explains the rather tepid translation. The problem is how do I come up with a core translation of "Oh my god!" that can then by equivalently translated in Japanese and Spanish? (The goal of the language is to provide for automatic translation TO (not from) English, Japanese and Spanish.) Spanish is fairly similar, but I don't know about Japanese. The phrase _wonden divin_ would be "my god", but it is a literal expression.

The word _wonden_ is treated as an article (all possessive pronouns are considered pronominal articles -- I've expanded the article system of Baselang again, now up to 13 types of articles -- 26 in total).

New words created for this exercise: chafergarbar (chafer [< Arabic "blade"] and garbar ["long bar" > stick] are also new) and nem [invented, a fusion of E. _now_ and Baselang _tem_, "time", because I can't find a good natlang CVC root for "present, now" -- help!!!].

Total time spent translating: 45 minutes. Obviously, I'm a long way from fluency!

Regards,

Jeffrey [1997]

6 Nothing has kept Goio Borje from creating a separate Basque listing. Eskerrik asko, Goio:
"I have seen your website and noticed you still do not have your sentence in Basque. Basque is a minor language spoken in the Basque Country, an area in North of Spain and South of France." [2001 Sep 24]

7 Submitted by Zenon Ratschkewycz [2001 Feb 15]

8 A missive from Antone Minard [2001 May 04]:
 
Hi there! A new one for you below, and some friendly editing on what you've got.
 
I should tell you that the language you have as "Celtic" is really Irish (also known as Irish Gaelic; your Gaelic is quite properly Scottish Gaelic). It's not even very good Irish. Celtic is like Slavic or Romance, a language family, not a language.
 
The Welsh should be corrected to "Dduw!..." or "A Dduw!" "A 'Nuw" is more like "Oh God-whom-I-possess," which doesn't work as well..
 
So this email isn't toally pointless, here's another Celtic language -- Breton.
 
Ma Doue! Ur vouc'hal a zo e va fenn! (emphasizing the axe)
Ma Doue! E va fenn eo ur vouc'hal! (emphasizing that it's in my head)
Ma Doue! Bez' ez eus ur vouc'hal e va fenn. (No special emphasis; both axe and head injury given equal weight.)
 
--Antone
 
Thanks, Antone. We should point out that philologists don't group languages under a catchword, but name language families after an older parent language, usually long dead. (Even the colloquial "Romance" means Roman, i.e. Latin.) And here at yamara.com, dead doesn't matter. The ancient Celts must have spoken this important phrase all the time, and we need to know how.
 
We aren't surprised that the "Celtic" listed here resembles the Irish, and may not reflect the inflections or phonemes used at the time, since this listing was picked up from another site (see note 12). Any professional light on this matter is of the utmost necessity.

9 Brought to our attention by Terry Rossiter [2001 Mar 05]

10 Courtesy the staff of cathayonline.com

11 From one "Carlin Miracle" [2001 Feb 15]: That is the translation in Catalan (or Catalonian if you prefer) Can you help me? How to get translations in "strange" languages? The regular dictionaries don't help much. Any ideas? Thanks, Carli
 
Also submitted by Trobairitz [2001 Mar 05] who says fun :)
This isn't just a game, Trobairitz! But thank you for contributing.

12 As originally posted at geocities.com/SiliconValley/7069/. We should warn that the regional slights, and especially the "Ebonics translation" are spurious.; Aetherco welcomes anyone who wishes to submit proper translations in accredited dialects of Black Speech. [2000 May 10]
 
Phil Lawrence adds: "The Estonian translation [orig Oh issand, mul on kirves peas] is OK at the rear end but the first part, "Oh issand," translates as "Oh Lord." A better interpretation for "Oh my God," would be, "Oh mu Jumal", or even "Oh minu Jumal," although the second version is rather formal.
Good luck [2001 Nov 08]

13 James Martin [2001 Jul 18] explains his addition to the canon:
 
Aah n'kiseemantoom, Ciikahikan asteew nistikwaanihk.
Oh my God,                an axe      is in      my head
 
Cree belongs to the Algonkian Language family in Canada. There are five dialects ,L,Th,R,Y. The above phrase is said in the 'N' dialect.
The double vowels represent long vowel sounds based on the international phonetic alphbet. For example, aa like in bat, ee like in bet, ii as in beet and oo as in boot. These are identified with a macron (a line) above the vowel.
Consonant are articulated as those in english. The c is like the ts in tsetse and the w is like an oo sound if its in the final position.
Good Luck with other languages.
 
Thanks. And Good Luck to you, James Martin.

14 Courtesy John Fisher [1997]

15 Hi There,
I hadn't seen this before:
 
k:-)
 
An emoticon for "oh my god, there's an axe in my head"
FWIW,
++Mark Dalrymple [2001 Nov 19]
 
We had to make one small change to get the "Oh my God!" element across, but there's no doubt that Mark's twist on Scott Fahlman's ARPANET invention is absolutely brilliant. This is one of our favorite entries, ever. Bravo.
 
Further research has turned up an earlier version by
Jay Bowks [1997 Mar 08] from an old Yahoo Groups posting cached by Google:
emoticon for the idea of Oh my god I've an axe in my beany!
 
p:-(

16 From Lea Luecking Frost [2001 Jan 17]:
If you're still updating the Axe In My Head site, I think I've got a passable Old English translation: "Wa min God! Se aex on min heafod is!" (The [ae] in "aex" should be the letter ash, aka a and e smashed together, but it won't show up properly in my email.) Great site, by the way! :-)
 
Further elaboration by Anna Truwe |atruwe [14 Feb 2001] Old English: Eala, min Hlaforde! An x by on minne heafod! That's literally "Alas, my Lord! An axe is in my head!" "Oh my God!" in Old English is way too similar to Modern English: "O, min God!" Just in case you folks were interested in the aesthetic decisions of translation. Wow. And my folks thought I'd never find a use for Old English. If you credit this to me, could you link my name to http://thingsihate.org?
Thanks.

17 From worldly-wise Flvin S. Olsen:
"In Faroese, it's
Gud! Eg havi eina ks hvdinum! (oh god, I have an axe in my head)
Gud! Ta er ein ks hvdinum hj mr! (oh god, there is an axe in my head)
And, Faroese is the language spoken on the Faroesk, small group of islands in the north atlantic. Around 45000 inhabitants."

18 Special thanks to Meg Bateman aka Nynaeve al'Meara for pointing out we were missing a circumflex. [2001 Jun 25]
"I've just been bragging to all my friends that you mentioned me on Axe In My Head" [2001 Jul 17]

19 Also, I noticed the german translation - [orig Oh mein Gott! Ich habe eine Axt im Kopf!]- it works out to Oh my God! I have an axe in head!
I suggest that for consistency, it might be better like

O mein Gott! Es gibt ein axt im meine kopf!
or for urgency:
Mensch! Gibt's ein Axt im meine kopf!
Feel free to use or ignore what you want...
Regards
John Cheseldine
 
Danke. When John isn't ensuring that German make sense, he's elaborating on how symbiotes might discuss battle adversely affecting their hosts (see the note on Goa'uld below.)

20 Christian A. Klepej has but scratched the surface of the deeper complexities of Germanic translation, and the Styrian deity is being addressed directly by his first name... and yet, we are very grateful for these entries:

1) german (styrian-dialect):
Jessas, i hab a hockn im schaedel.
 
2) german (carinthian-dialect):
Um Goddes wuell, do is a hackale im meim schaedahle.
 
::: Christian A. Klepej
::: Graz, Humboldtstrasse 9/II      [2001 Aug 22]

21 Further details from "oliver":
"i've got another translation of that very important phrase. its a german dialect that we are speaking here in austria (to be more precise upper austria)
a few friends and i were discussing what translation would be the best and we came up with this one (it even rhymes)"

22 Claus Lamm, University of Vienna has another translation to jam into our skulls:
"Well, here is how you would say it in Vorarlbergerisch, which is a dialect spoken in the westernmost part of Austria:
 
Hargolss, do ischt an agscht i minoem griand!
 
cheers,
claus
Claus Lamm
Brain Research Lab
Dept. of Psychology
University of Vienna [2001 Aug 23]

Shortly before the above arrived, an enigmatic "flo" sent in a different take in Vorarlbergerisch... but it doesn't look to us like God is being called on to help with the unfortunately-placed instrument:
"it is a little german mixed up with swiss slang....its rather strange. so heres the translation...
 
Scheissdreck, I hon a Akscht i da Bira!
 
Btw, Im from the western Part of Austria, also known as Vorarlberg.
thanxngreetz
flo"

23 John Cheseldine ringed in this likely enough candidate:
 
Noticed you had a Klingon translation on your site, so I thought you might appreciate this; It's very rough translation into the Goa'Uld language used by the bad-guys (and slaves) in the Stargate movie and SG-1 series... This is loosely based on dialogue taken from the film, and the concept of the language on Abydos being a corruption of ancient Egyptian...it's not 100% accurate but it's extremely close! [2001 Oct 26]
 
Individual jaffa may insert their own bosses at the beginning of the statement. Apophis and his ilk would likely use the preface, "Ah me!" and not be terribly concerned about the results.

24 Notes on Greek from Miriam Kotsonis [2001 Feb 16]:
'Since I don't want anyone to be lax, when dealing with an axe,
here are some suggestions regarding the Greek translations.
The modern Greek you showed had two problems:
"Greek, Modern: hristo mou! eho ena maheri sto kefali mou!" The word for God, or in this case Christ, needs to be in the vocative case, Hriste. Also, the word for axe is "tsekouri" and not maheri, which means knife.
So the correct version would be: Hriste mou! Eho ena tsekouri sto kefali mou!
For Ancient Greek, I don't know all of it (maybe some of the people I've blind-copied this to will be able to help), but you definitely want Thee (pronounced Thayay) mou, not O Theos mou.
With best wishes for your continued success in the list,
Miriam Kotsonis'

This additional note, from Paul Exarhos [6 Mar 2001]:
'Hi Guys!
I received an email with many different translations for "Oh My God there is an exe in my head!" [sic -ed]
I am just writing to you to let you know that the Modern Greek Translation is not correct. What you have written there translates to...." My Jesus there is a knife in my head."
It should read, " The'Mou, eho ena tsakouri sto kefali mou"
I hope this is of some help to you!
Regards
Paul Exarhos'

25 Our thanks go out to Virginia M. Geraty, Gullah scholar and advocate, who sent this translation in. "Contrary to the belief still held by some, Gullah is not poor, or broken English. It is not a dialect of any other language, neither is it Black English. Gullah possesses every element necessary for it to qualify as a language in its own right. It has its own grammar, phonological systems, idiomatic expressions, and an extensive vocabulary. Since this language was never intended to be written, there are no hard and fast rules governing its orthography." [2001 Apr 29]

26 Our submission in Hausa is from a Wedge Martin, who insists he's double-checked it, so we'll trust him. Any guesses what happens to you when you get something wrong on this page?:
 
[2001 May 11] Great work! I love the axe-in-my-head page :)
 
Ok.. Here's another one.. You may need to do some research, but it's a fairly common language. Primarily in western Africa it's used as a common language between many tribes. The BBC even airs in Nigeria in this language. It's called 'Hausa'. I can't believe I remember this stuff. Enjoy :)
 
Kai! Ina da bambaro ciken kaina!
 
It actually translates to 'Kai! (an expression of shock) I have an axe (something like an axe) in my head.'
The first 'Kai' is actually an expression, the second 'kaina' is actually 'kai' (head) and the suffix 'na' is 'my'. 'ciken' is pronounced almost exactly like english 'chicken'.

27 Originally posted as "Eloi! Yesh'li ca-sheel ba-rosh sheh-li!", we've had some input as to correcting the phrase:
From
Barry Barancik [2001 Feb 13]: "Hi. Although the hebrew translation is basically correct, the common modern Hebrew word for a hand-axe is garzen, not ca-sheel. regards, Barry"
And this from OFER-ZI ( ) [2001 Mar 06]: 'while readind the "Oh my god! There's an axe in my head" page, I noticed a mistake in the Hebrew translation.
Being an Isreali and as such, a native Hebrew speaker, id like to correct it to: "Allelay, yesh li garzen ba-rosh" (alternative translation would be: "Allelay, yesh li garzen barrosh sheli", but the last word is not necessary)
"oh my god" ("allelay") may also be writen "Oh Ellohim" ("oh god", as is often said) or "Oh Ellohim shelli" ("oh my god", a less common figure of speach)'

28 From "Majestic" [2001 Feb 27]: "Quarval-sharess is used to refer to Lloth, the goddess of Drow. Velve means sword. If there is a word for axe in the Ilythiiri tongue, then I have no knowledge of it. -Majestic"
The Drow (and their culture and language) are a popular fantasy race from the RPG "Dungeons & Dragons" by Wizards of the Coast. Doubtless they have encountered axes, and any more complete translation would be appreciated. -ed.

29 Presumably the native language spoken in the Danish territory of Greenland, submitted by Jette Petersen. [2001 Feb 22]
 
It's "Greenlandic" and is indeed the dialect of Inuktitut used in Greenland. Inuktitut is the language of the Inuit. In Greenlandic, it's spelled with the same alphabet as in Denmark; in Canada, it's got its own syllabic alphabet.
-Barry Goldstein
 Pequod Software [2001 Aug 21]

30 From the email of F. W., with our most profound thanks [2001 Feb 15]:
Dear Sir/Madam,
I note that you have incorrectly translated the above into Irish (and therefore quite possibly your Celtic and Gaelic versions need to be revised).
The correct version is in fact:
" mo Dhia! T tua i mo cheann!"
and not "Mo Dhia! Ta tua sa mo cheann!"
I have underlined the change from "sa" to "i". In Irish, "sa" and "i" are the two words used to describe the English preposition "in". "i" is used, inter alia, to denote the genitive case in respect of bodily parts, such as "in my face" (i m'aghaidh) , "in my head" (i mo cheann), etc. Hence the error in your translation.
I hope this information is of some use to you.
Kind regards,
F. W.
Dublin

31 "The new language I have for you is Old Irish:
 
A mo de! Tathum tuag im chenn-sa.
Oh my god! There-is-to-me [an] axe in-my head.
 
There should be accent marks (long vowels) on the e in de, the a in tathum, and the u in tuag. The line would be pronounced roughly:
 
A moe they! Tothuv tuagh im xen-sa
 
The x is the German ch in Bach and the gh is the voiced version of that. I included the pronunciation only because Old Irish is often not pronounced like it is written.
I hope you can use these.
 
Aaron Griffith [2001 Sep 21]
 
Thank you, Aaron. We now set it before the tuag-weilders upon Tara, and they shall judge its merits.

32 Courtesy Robert K [2001 Feb 17]: co dio! xe na mannera nella mia testa from an northen italian dialect used primarily around trieste in the venezia gulia region ( co' dio) is a close equivalent of oh my god ( mannerra = axe) which literally means blackhand.

33 A well-accredited correction to our Klingoni has come from Qor'etlh of the Klingon Language Institute [stardate 2001 Feb 13]:
An old Federation approximation was:
ghay'cha'! nachwIjDaq betleH tu'lu'!
But careful studies, after decades of dedication, by teams of Linguistic Scientists have revealed that:
toH, HIvqa' Qun'a'wIj! nachwIjDaq 'obmaQ tu'lu'
Is more literally: "Oh my god! There's an axe in my head!"
This is pronounced [ TOKh, HiV-KA KROON-A-WiJ! NAch-WiJ-DAK OB-MAKR TOO-LOO]
Cultural Note: Although the gods were found to be too much trouble, and hunted down & killed by the Klingons eons ago, a few 'personal' gods must still persist.

An alternate reading also arrived from "Danny" [2001 Feb 12] Klingon: #@!&, This is a knife located in head that is mine. Qu'vatlh! nu'oH taj'Daq nachwIj - There you go - 5anny

34 Additions and corrections from one "Jasmine" [2001 Mar 06]:
Some more translations:
Kyrgyz (from Kyrgyzstan near China and Uzbekistan. It comes from the same family as Turkish does)
Oh Kuday! Bashimda balta bar!
Also, an alternate version of the Russian translation. The one you have on the web page was made by an American, I'm assuming. They are trying to duplicate "there is" in Russian. The form "to be" is very rarely used. A more accurate "Russian" way of saying the phrase would be: Oh God! Axe in my head! with the "to be" part being understood.
Oy Gospodi! Topor u moye golovye!
Enjoy,
Jasmine

35 The first translation was found on the (less than etymologically reliable) "Jokes on Languages and Translations" site - www.fortunecity.com/business/moo/1132/Jokes.html [2000 Mar 20]
The second is from CHRISTOPHER at Malta.net
"In Maltese oh my god there's an axe in my head translates literally alla tieghi hemm mannara gewwa rasi. In normal terms it would be il alla hemm mannara gewwa rasi. I would use the first one." [2001 Oct 23]
A third was submitted by Cassar Keith at MITTS; we're not sure if "axxa" is really Maltese... "IL ALLA HEMM AXXA F'RASI" [2001 Aug 24]

36 Tord Frland sez: "Please enjoy - spelling has been verified by a Prof. in norwegian language!" [2001 Mar 20]

37 Corrections have poured in this winter over original submission: "Herre Gud! Jeg har en aks i hodet!":
Jrgen Vinne Iversen [14 Feb 2001]; Jon Reino Heum [14 Feb 2001]; Espen Aase Johnsen [9 Mar 2001]; Sigve Indregard [9 Mar 2001]; Simen Pedersen [9 Mar 2001]; Tord Frland and others have come forward to correct the misspelling of "ks" as "aks". So many in fact, we have to wonder if they aren't incarnations of the same avid axe-head fan. In any case, we sincerely hope help was not delayed to anyone by this unfortunate error. And thanks to everyone for the heads up!

[04 Jul 2001] Apparently we are still experiencing some argument over just how to convince your Norwegian friends a great hatchet of war is sticking out of your cranium. This is not the language group to let down about such an issue. Here's some of the mail we've gotten through the Spring of 2001:

The last translation posted was "Hrregud, eg he ein ks i hovudet!"

[2001 Apr 29] Hi, I am a 16 year old boy from Norway (who cares..)
Your translation of oh my god! There's an axe in my head from english to norwegian is a little bit odd.
 
The way you have it is as it would have been in earlier norwegian (nynorsk)
 
In earlier norwegian it should have been:
 
"Herregud! Eg har ein ks i hovudet"
or
" Gud! Eg har ein ks i hovudet"
 
But most norwegians or write in a newer version of Norwegian (bokml) And in that case the translation would have been:
 
"Herregud! Jeg har en ks i hodet"
or
" Gud! Jeg har en ks i hodet"
 
The last two ways of writing it is the most used ones, but the first two is also correct. I suggest you change the translation you already have with one of the ones I have listed.
 
Greetings from
Tony Hansse

[2001 May 16] The Norwegian version "Hrregud, eg he ein ks i hovudet!" is not really correct. If one is using Bokml (the majority dialect) "Herre Gud, jeg har ftt en ks i hodet" would be correct. In Nynorsk (the minority dialect) this would be "Herre Gud, eg har ftt ei ks i hovudet mitt" would be the way to express it.
 
The viking sagas tell a us lot about axe fighting and a line that is most suitable for your page is:
 
"Han treiv ei ks i hovudet p han s skallen klvdes heilt ned til skuldrane. Det blei hans bane!"
 
- From Eigil Skallagrimssons kongssagaer. In english this would read "An axe was thrust into his head so his skull was split in two right down to his shoulders. This killed him". The last part of the sentnce may seem unnecessary information for us today but the vikings were a tough fighting race and a mere head wound caused by an axe was commonplace.
 
Andrew Walls
Near the Arctic Circle
Norway

[2001 Jun 01] Just a little pedantic note: there are actually two Norwegian written languages. Directly translated, one is commonly referred to as 'book tongue' and the other 'new Norwegian'. Both are taught in school. The 'book tongue' version of Norwegian language is basically Danish with a twist, whilst 'new Norwegian' is a nationalistic attempt at combining the various attributes of different Norwegian dialects into one whole. Being an attempt at incorporating all dialects, and seeing as there are so many (and consequently conflicting) ones, 'new Norwegian' is quite flexible. As long as one spells words consistently, one may somewhat adjust the spelling according to one's own dialect. Thus, 'aks' may in some instances be an alternative spelling of 'ks', but this is probably limited to isolated backwater burghs no one has ever heard of.
 
Here are correct Norwegian translations of "Oh my god! There's an axe in my head":

Norwegian 'Book tongue': "Herregud! Jeg har en ks i hodet."
'New Norwegian': "Herregud! Eg har ein ks i hovudet."
The version on your site ("Hrregud, eg he ein ks i hovudet!"), I'm sorry to say, is completely off the mark. Firstly, 'hrregud' is a misspelling of 'herregud' in any version of written Norwegian. (It's akin to writing 'oh my gad' instead of 'oh my god'.) Secondly, 'he' is used in some spoken dialects, but is not an acceptable official spelling of 'har'. Although 'new Norwegian' is flexible, there are still certain rules to abide. So, the suggested 'new Norwegian' of "Hrregud, eg he ein ks i hovudet!" is plain wrong. This is not merely my opinion. It is so. Please do not just mention this in the footnote, but correct the main text. .
 
Regards,
Christopher Slind Nicholso

[2001 Jun 26] nso@slash-ignore writes:
really cool list..
on note thou..
the norwegian translation is really really REALLY wrong..
the norwegian translation should read; "Herregud! Jeg har en ks i hodet!"
 
acctually.. you might want to keep the one that's allready there.. it ain't norwegian.. it's new-norwegian.. a own written and spoken language..

[2001 Jun 29] Good day to you.
 
I'm a Norwegian, and I see to my disgust that your Norwegian translation is wrong. The one you have no your page, is 'written the way people talk', and in a dialect. It is not correct Norwegian.
 
The wrong sentence:
Hrregud, - Written the way people talk. There is no such word as Hrre, and the words Herre Gud should be in two words!
eg he ein - north Norwegian dialect!
ks i - correct
hovudet! - Dialect agai
 
The correct sentence (and I got the best grades at school!) is:
Herre Gud, jeg har en ks i hodet!
 
Sincerely
Harald Sandbakke
Norway

[Ed.: We've now posted a couple of each from Bokml and Nynorsk. If a fresh round of dispute arises, this can only be solved in one way. Everyone in Norway will have to get out their axes, approach those with opposing dialects, and... you get the idea. Ah, for the good old days.]

38 The Quest of Axe has begun in Middle-Earth... the Tolkien scholars are sharpening their baruk in preparation to mince Peter Jackson's interpretation of Middle-Earth to a nicety. Or, if the need arises, to leave an axe in his head.
Our thanks to scribe
Aaron Griffith for his weapons-take on the subject
"The Quenya translation could be better, I think:
 
A Iluvatarinya! En na pelecco carinyesse.
Literally: O Earth-father-mine. There is [an] ax head-mine-in.
 
There should be accent marks (indicating long vowels) over the u in Iluvatar, the a in na, and the a in carinyesse. Iluvatar is more commonly the name the elves use when addressing God. Also, the elves can say 'in my head' all in one word and probably would, rather than as mi nya car, which is printed currently." [2001 Sep 21]
 
But our original entry for Quenya was just as thoughtful:
"Hello. My name is Ian. I was looking for something cool to do, when all of a sudden, I found your page. It's awesome. My new hobby is to memorize a new way of saying it every day, and say it to someone.
 
"I was slightly dissapointed however, when I found a Klingon way of saying it, and not an Elvish one. JRR Tolkien wrote the Lord of the Rings series, and there is a movie coming out in mid-December of one of the books. So, I think that you should put in the Elvish language because it is well developed and spoken by many fanatics across the country. I took the liberty of looking up how to say the phrase, in hopes that you would put it on your page. Please think it over. Thank you.

O Erunya! En n i pelecco mi nya cr.
Oh my God! There is an axe in my head.
"Sorry about not making a contraction of "there is", but I could not find a way in Elf. If you need verrification that this is a legitimate language please go to the following page. They have a word bank. http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Parthenon/2196/
"Thanks again. Ian Hardie" [2001 May 21]

Thanks, Ian, though Ilythiiri is arguably an elvish language we've already posted. Also, we are well aware of Prof. Tolkien's contributions, and have been seeking translations in his languages for some time. In fact, he devised more than one elven language, and developed many variants. Your translation appears to be in Quenya...
 
We invite all Ardan scholars out there to keep commenting.

39 Submitted by: S.A.\"Vinuri-Ialoveni\" [2001 Mar 23]
Also this from Wed, Eduard Tone [2001 Mar 21]
Hi guys! I'm Eddie from Romania, and let me tell you how to say it:
"Oh, Doamne! Am un topor infipt in cap!"
OK? Nice and practical site you have! See ya!
Eddie

40 Our original "Bozhe moi! Eto topor v moyei golove!" just isn't good enough for native Russian speakers. So we've posted two alternatives that have arrived; one from Jasmine (see note 22) and another from Anthony J. Vanchu [2001 Mar 09], apparently at NASA... Clearly they're prepared for the imminent impact of an ancient weapon with the International Space Station sometime this year
Dear Site Curator:
Great site!!
One note, however: the Russian-language version of the phrase "Oh my God, there's an axe in my head" on your website, while a workable literal translation, is not the way a Russian would actually say this. May I suggest instead: "Bozhe moy, u meenya tapor v golove!" (The consensus of the several native-speakers of Russian with whom I work).
Tony Vanchu

41 More axe crises above the Arctic Circle, from Geir Anders Berg [2001 Mar 13]:
I have one for you in smi language: "Vuoi Ipmilahcci! Mus han leat aksu oaivvis"
The Smi are the indigenous people inhabiting Northern Norway, Sweden, Finland and Russia's Kola eninsula.
Have a nice day :)
Geir Anders Berg
davvIT as

42 Discovered at www.vt.edu. [2000 May 10]

43 Thanks to Dr. Sunil Koswatta [2001 Mar 05]; although we sincerely hope visitors to Ceylon will never need it:
Sinhala is spoken by about 75% of the population in Sri Lanka.
M. Sunil R. Koswatta, Ph.D.
Faculty Coordinator
Department of Instructional Technology
Harper College
Palatine, IL 60067.

44 A gender pause from Kathy0284:
 
I was just reading through your translations and I came upon the Spanish translation and it says "una hacha". This is incorrect; it should be "un hacha". ALthough it looks that it should be "una" it takes the masculine form because of hte stressed "h" sound to the word. I only know this because we recently went over this in my Spanish class ( this is my 7th year of it) at school. Thankyou. [2001 May 13]

45 "In Surinamese, the language spoken in Suriname on the north coast of South America, a former colony of Holland, it would be:
 
Tj mi gado! Mi ab' wang aksi na ini mi d!
 
In Suriname a machete would be more realistic though,
Krook
Delft, Holland"

46 How emphatically are you injured by that Swedish axe? Do you even care? This submission from Kari Kakkinen [2001 Mar 09] answers all your questions:
(Original submissions: "Ah, Herregud! Jag har en yxa i huvudet!")
I don't know who gave you the swedish version but to me it's not the the rigth way of saying it, the first part that is.
When you in swedish use the....Ah ........it can be in a situation where you are disappointed with yourself ....Ah, jag missade ( I missed)....or.....it can be in a situation when you are admireing something.....Aaaah, den r vacker (it's beautiful) notice the longer Ah, wich in that situation means that you probably really think the "object" is really beautiful.
So......how is the correct way then ? Like the english way.......Oh
K Kakkinen....Oernskoeldsvik....Swede

47 Thanks to cbooth@es.com for contributing this, with the following commentary:
"Note that the last vowels in Tanrim and saplanmis are undotted i's; they represent a high back unround vowel. It seems to me that a site claiming to have translations in many languages should avail itself of a way to represent symbols and diacritics that aren't part of standard written American English."
The editors wish to note that this page was posted to meet an emergency no other page on the web provides this service with updates. All the same, we would certainly post gifs or jpegs of these important translations in their original, non-English character sets if contributors send them i. [2000 May 10]

48 Courtesy Mohammed Farooq [2001 Mar 05]

49 Thanks to Arden Smith for supplying the Volapk translation! [2001 Mar 15]

50 Don't be misunderstood in Belgium. Thanks to Jean-Michel Reghem [2001 Mar 07]:
Here is the version of this sentence in Wallon (Walloon: french dialect spoken by old people in french speaking part of belgium... Maybe it is the same for some dialect in the north of France) It's in phonetic, because it is not a language than you can write.
"Nom d dju, y a n hache din m' tit" (In French: Mon dieu, Il y a une hache dans ma tte)
Jean-Michel Reghem (Mons - Belgium)

51 Translation and text jpeg supplied by the mighty Barry Goldstein, while us goyim were merely lazing around Christmas week. [2001 Dec 27]
 
Another submission in Yiddish we recieved from JeffreyW5000, but, a little unsure he was:
 
[2001 Jun 06] "It would be a good idea to add Yiddish as a language. I don't know it exactly, but I think it might be like: Oy Vey, doort is an (axe)in mine kop!
 
"Actually, it might be: Oy mayn got, doort is an (ax) in mayn kop!!"

52 [2001 Jul 05] Our second entry from Tolkien's Arda is the bad guy's language, submitted as "Orcish" by someone going by the Lovecraftian moniker of LudvigPrin:
 
[2001 Jun 29] Afar vadokanuk, At sapat kok-ishi!
"By all the dead, there's an axe in my head!"
>From Tolkein's Black Speech
 
Ed.: This is from a site featuring "Colloquial Black Speech for Orcs, Trolls and Men", and may be more fan-derived than Tolkienian, but that remains to be seen.
 
According to Tolkien canon, the Orcs had many guttural tribal languages but used a degraded form of Zau Ta-folin to communicate between tribes. The rhyming translation seems amusing, especially since the speaker would likely be joining the ranks of said dead. This might be a suitable translation for tribes outside the control or knowledge of Sauron (say during one of his long absences) since their objects of veneration were likely dead and/or evil.
 
But orcs working for Sauron have a god. In the opinion of Aetherco, anyone using Zau Ta-folin would not call upon God himself as an epithet, even in vain. It seems very likely no word for Eru (God) would have been made, since Sauron and his exiled master Morgoth were the only deities worth worshipping, in Sauron's opinion, at the time Sauron devised the language.
 
Also since the canon states specifically that Sauron forbade his servants to spell or speak his name, some symbol of the Dark Lord would have to substitute. Such was the terror Sauron kept his servants in, that even referring aloud to his Eye was avoided, and so we have chosen the ultimate scary reference to Sauron, used by orcs Shagrat and Gorbag in The Two Towers:
Lugbrz, the Zau Ta-folin word for Barad-dr, the Dark Tower.
 
Hence, the first translation would literally read,
"By the Dark Tower! there's an axe in my head."

53 Found at damocles.com (!) and wap.org. [2000 May 10]

54 Egyptian and Russian character transcriptions by John McClusky, via the man himself, Johann Jungberger.


An early hint of Yohaun's axes on Usenet: 1994 Jul 20
An early posting of Yohaun's list on Usenet [12 entries]: 1994 Jul 24
First findable correction by a third party [Latin]: 1994 Sep 05
Originally received by Aetherco: 1997 May 12

"Did you ever have a hatchet go right through your face?" George Carlin

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