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Once you start, you're hooked. But there is a hope for you. CANNIBALS ANONYMOUS.
Your pathetic source for quotes
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Cannibalism-related links!
tunics
eating babies is the cool thing to do
Weird dreams I've had in horribly done comic format
Rant
More reasons life sucks - this will be built over time.
Oh my God! There's an axe in my head! (after messing the first try up)
villains!
I like traffic lights
Heinle and Heinle
Your pathetic source for quotes
Something that you won't have read already.
Roads to infinity. Or from there.
Life organizer
Diagrams of my room, as promised.
good songs.

I'll add more.  If you send more, or if I see more.

THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I HAVE EVER HEARD!
>squeeze lie establisher
The lie establisher thwops inward and outward.
>push lie opener
The button depresses and releases with a small "spuk."
>stand
 
and here's the best part!
 

The resting sighs at your departure.
 
Ahhhhh.
(Dan Schmidt created the IF game this came from)
 
"The only depravity uncharted might be cannibalism, a last frontier that fastidious man has mostly declined to explore.  Evil is a different sort of gourmet."
- Evil, Lance Morrow, Time Magazine
 
DEMOTIVATORS!
  • "if you find yourself struggling with loneliness, you're not alone. And yet you are alone. So very alone."
  • "there is no joy greather than soaring high on the wings of your dreams, except maybe the joy of watching a dreamer who has nowhere to land but in the ocean of reality."
  • "The only consistent feature of all your dissatisfying relationships is you."
  • "If you never try anything new, you'll miss out on many of life's great disappointments."
  • "It hurts to admit when you've made mistakes.  But when they're big enough, the pain only lasts a second."
  • "The harder you try, the dumber you look."
  • "Attitudes are contagious.  Mine might kill you."
If you aren't remembered, then you never existed.
Arisu (Serial Experiments Lain)
 
'"Oughf," I said.'
Hemingway
 
"I believe that if ever I had to practice cannibalism, I might manage if there were enough tarragon around."
James Beard (1903-1985)
 
It's a television commercial! With this cartoon leprechaun! And all of these children are trying to chase him..Hey leprechaun man! Leprechaun man! We want to get your lucky charms! haha! Oh, and there's all these little tiny bits of marshmallow just stuck right in the cereal so that when the kids eat them, they think, "Oh this is candy! I'm having fun!"
Frau Farbissma (Austin Powers)
 
"Monday is for calling in sick to work, and to remind everyone that I'll be taking Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday off in observance of Tuesday. Then, after that's done, I'll usually play video games."
Tales in Hot Pink
 
"Nothing more strongly arouses our disgust than cannibalism, yet we make the same impression on Buddhists and vegetarians, for we feed on babies, though not our own."
Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-1894)
 
"Live for today, gone tomorrow, that's me, HaHaHaaaaaa!"  
(Pink Floyd)
 
"If the evil in the world is intended by god he is not good. If it violates his intentions he is not almighty. God can't be both almighty and good." 
David Hume (Theodice Problem)
 
A Lovely Swan Poem

The dead swans lay in the stagnant pool
They lay, they rotted, they turned around occasionally
Bits of flesh dropped off them from time to time
and sank into the pool's mire
they also smelt a great deal


-- Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings
 
"Most people I know I think agree and even many theists agree with this. We don't want government involved. When atheists become the majority in this country, I don't think the theists are going to be glad to have "one nation under no God" inserted in the Pledge of Allegiance." 
Newdow
 

"Oh yes, my point is - so what if I wasn't the nicest? It doesn't mean I didn't have a lovely life with a wonderful wife and a loving son and daughter. It doesn't mean my puppy doesn't love me. It doesn't mean I didn't have any friends. You see. Actually I didn't have many friends. But the friends I did have thought I was nice. Well not "nice" nice. But nice enough to have as a friend. I expect." 
Eric Idle (Monty Python)
 
"There is no cannibalism in the British Navy, absolutely none, and when I say none, I mean there is a certain amount."
- Monty Python
 
"What really alarms me about President Bush's "war on terrorism" is the grammar. How do you wage war on an abstract noun? It's rather like bombing murder."
Terry Jones (Monty Python)
 
"If you want creative workers, give them enough time to play."
John Cleese (Monty Python)
 
The cannibal goes out and hunts, pursues and kills another man and proceeds to cook and eat him precisely as he would any other game. There is not a single argument nor a single fact that can be offered in favor of flesh eating that cannot be offered, with equal strength, in favor of cannibalism.
-- Dr. Herbert Shelton
 
"Hell it's funny you should ask me that because when I was up at Brasenose, well actually it happened before that in fact, It was at school at Shrewsbury in Shropshire, there's a Norman Church there called St. Chad's, no actually, se. Chad's dated from Norman times but in 1788 the tower fell down so it was rebuilt but the real Norman church is St. Mary's, anyway there was a fellow there called Paul Scott. I was reminded of him because I was reading the Raj Quartet last night, actually I finished it this morning, it is absolutely marvellous, bit like Hardy in a way, there's one scene where the British Commissioner is questioning an Indian spy, well he doesn't know he's a spy, and the point is..."
Michael Palin on his portrayal of Pontius Pilate in The Life of Brian
 
John says that everything I say is much funnier if I am dressed as a bee. 
Michael Palin
 
I know she's not a real Python but she was always sending us jokes and it was Mother Teresa who stood bail for Graham Chapman when he was bitten in the back by a mad dwarf in a London night-club. 
Michael Palin
 
Michael's doctor poo-pooed the magazine's claims that his patient has become pregnant for a bet. "Believe me, there is no way Michael is going to become pregnant at his age."
 
His off-stage performances included collecting an award from the Sun newspaper by leaping high in the air, emitting a loud squawk and crawling all the way back to his table with the award in his mouth, leaving Lord Mountbatten, who had given him the award, looking very confused.
Michael Palin on Graham Chapman
 
He always regarded death as highly overrated and could never understand why anybody made such a fuss about it. 
Michael Palin on Graham Chapman
 
I suspect he would have enjoyed an old age of increasing eccentricity, dispensing his considerable wisdom and hospitality, occasionally leaping in the air and shouting "Eeke!"
Michael Palin on Graham Chapman

"You never know what he's going to do next," explains "Life of Brian" colleague John Cleese, "one moment he's reading a newspaper, the next he'll be swatting flies with it." 
John Cleese on Eric Idle
 
"He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy."
Monty Python (Life of Brian)
 
"Last week, we started at the beginning, and we learned the italian for a spoon." Monty Python (Flying Circus)
 
"In hotel rooms I worry. I think, I can't be the only guy who
sits on the furniture naked."
Jonathan Katz
 
I Hate Bugs
I hate bugs in the summer
especialy when they fly into my mouth and up my nose and in my ears
If I keep my mouth closed they wont fly in
If I plug up my ears they wont fly in
but if I plug my nose I wont be able to breath and I will be dead
that is why I hate bugs
- Gus
 
"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
Douglas Adams (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
 
"Human beings are robots."
Kurt Vonnegut  (Breakfast of Champions)
 
"Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it irritates me! I'll go over to a little baby and say, "What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!"
Stephen Wright
 
"And the children call him famous,
And the old men call him insane,
And sometimes he's so nameless,
That he hardly knows which game to play...
Which words to say..."
Lather (Jefferson Airplane)
 
"Lisa, there's a point in every father's life when he blows up his daughter's room." Homer Simpson
 
"I haven't met that many happy people in my life. How do they act?"
Chloe (The Big Chill)
 
"Computer games don't affect kids, I mean if Pac Man affected us as kids, we'd all run around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music..." Kristian Wilson (CEO, Nintendo)
 
"couldn't even recognize my own wife up close. She seems to think that you fix a face the same way you fix a house." 
Alec Wildenstein on his wife
 

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